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The DadWars have begun

July 26, 2014

Look out mommy wars, dad wars are about to begin.  

Stay at home moms versus working moms is a battle that has been fought in blogs, opinion pieces, news shows and social gatherings.  We dads have just sat on the sidelines, keeping our mouths shut because: “you didn’t carry a baby in your body for 9 months.”  Damn biology.  

But, dads aren’t on the sidelines anymore.  With the number of Stay At Home Dads (SAHDs) ever increasing there has been a battle brewing just beneath the surface.  

Dads aren’t what they used to be.  We aren’t afraid of changing diapers anymore, breaking the baby, or being emotionally vulnerable with our children.  We are basically smellier, and typically, more physically rough, moms…with penises, and a hairy butt.

To prove this to yourself, the next time you are at a store, look around and you will see almost as many dads as moms.  You will see dads entertaining the kids, freeing mom to shop.  You will see dads there alone with multiple kids.  You will see dads like me chasing their giggling kids around the store, pleasing some, pissing off others.  We are there, you just have to look around to see.

All was well and good in the world of dads, until the SAHDs became “a thing.”  We were all equal.  We were just…dads.  Now, the SAHDs are ruining everything.  The news doesn’t care about working dads, only the bon-bon eating stay at home dads.  As if somehow being unable to make more than their wives makes them special.

The SAHDs apparently spend their days watching sports, working out, and sleeping in while their kids run wild.  When they decide to take care of their children, it’s only to take them to a park to try and hit on the lonely SAHMs, which always works because they have time to work out…bastards.  

Meanwhile, they act superior with their SAHD-only play groups. They think their kids diapers don’t stink.  The go on news shows and talk about how difficult it is caring for multiple children all-day long…boo-freaking-hoo.  Get a job bitch!

The real men, the ones that actually provide for their families because they have to, want to bitch-slap the smug smile off their faces.  Nothing more than a bunch of sissies with feminist sugar mammas neutering them.  

Oh yeah!  And they have itty bitty testies.  

 I, for one, am tired of the BS.  If the tiny-testy-dads think they are so special, then they should try balancing a demanding job while being an involved father.  They should try leaving their kids, who cry every time we walk out the door…every…damn…day.  Then you tell me who should get to go on news shows.

In closing, dad wars isn’t real.  Modern dads just want to spend as much time with their kids as possible.  The working modern dads who meet a SAHD will almost always express their wish to do the same, but will be happy for the SAHD.  We dads are just happy to see dads being good dads.  Seriously though, look around the store and enjoy all the dads you see with their kids.  We are out there and we love it.





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  1. Ha! Great post. As a 14 year SAHD I approve this message. Excuse me while I go back to my bon-bons and SportsCenter.

    • Fourteen years! You’re a straight up SAHD OG. With 6 kids, I am not sure how you’d have time to shower much less watch sports, or you know, eat.

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